30 November 2021

Kindness is not only about what you do but how you do it. It can accompany every type of action from praise to criticism. When an action comes from a place of empathy, you experience kindness. 

Kindness comes in many forms. It’s about honesty, empathy, forgiveness, trust, patience, compassion and humility.

“Use your voice for kindness, your ears for empathy, your hands for helping others, your mind for truth, and your heart for compassionate love.”   – David Scott

Here are Several Forms of Kindness

Honesty: Honesty doesn’t always mean you are being kind. You can be honest and kind at the same time though. When you need to be honest, but it feels like a criticism, you should find a way to deliver it with kindness, say with a soft voice, a hand on someone’s shoulder or the way you word your response.

Forgiveness: When you forgive others and yourself, you are freeing yourself from blame and condemnation. It allows you to be happy. Forgiveness is a form of kindness as it lets you accept others as they are and gives you a sense of peace. 

"Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace"

Trust: Trust is different from honesty. When you show kindness to others, it builds their trust in you. There are many ways to do this; keep your word, ask what they need, then help them get it.  

Empathy: Kindness requires empathy. It means putting yourself in another’s position and feelings. Empathy allows you to understand and be sensitive to what others are feeling. It is important to building positive relationships and for good communication.  

Patience: Patience is needed when you are being kind to another. Patience makes you take the time to get your thoughts and actions in order before you react.  A kind act is often given with patience. 

“A moment of patience in a moment of anger saves you a hundred moments of regret.”

Compassion: This is when you feel for another’s problems and take action to help. Compassion is an action of kindness. It is a guide for kindness.

Humility: Being humble means you do things out of the kindness of your heart, not expecting anything in return.  This is a true act of kindness. 

Kindness has all these character traits in it. Being honest, building trust, being humble, compassionate and empathetic all work together to perform true acts of kindness.

How to Give and Receive Kindness

Aesop, the ancient Greek storyteller, once said, “No act of kindness, 

no matter how small, is ever wasted.”

Now that you know what kindness is and its power and benefits on you and the world, you need to know how to give and receive kindness.

1.    Kindness begins with yourself. Be kind to yourself when you take a misstep. Being angry and negative over a mistake you made can lead you to being angry and frustrated with others. 

2.    Begin with compassion, then with kindness. Recognise that we all have challenges before making a comment or making an assumption about another person or situation Follow up your compassion with an act of kindness.

3.    Be of service to others. Do at least one kind act for someone close to you, an acquaintance or stranger or yourself every day. It can be as simple as bringing a coworker a cup of coffee or giving a stranger a smile.

4.    Choose to be kind even when others are not. Being kind is a choice you have every day. 

5.    Give for the sake of giving. Don’t expect anything in return. When you give kindness expecting thanks or some form of credit, it is self-serving and some form of making the recipient feel indebted. The rewards are better when we are kind without expecting any payback. 

I heard a story about a little boy from a family who had very little money. He really wanted fishing lures but had no money to buy them. This anonymous person bought a handful of fishing lures and a package of gummy worms and left them in the family mailbox along with a note saying they were free. The boy was thrilled, and the anonymous person was filled with happiness at seeing the boy’s joy. Now that is kindness!

6.    Practice being kind more often. Like everything, we become kinder the more we do it. Random acts of kindness get easier. Do one small, kind thing each day for someone and pay attention to the impact you make. It will make you feel lighter, kinder and notice more opportunities to be kind.

7.    Kindness is contagious. Be the one who shows kindness every day and others will begin to do the same. Be the boss, leader, coworker, family member or neighbor who people follow your actions in kindness.

8.    Kindness lasts. When you do an act of kindness for someone or it’s done for you, it is remembered. Maybe you were shy in college or at high school and you had a staff member compliment you on your dress code. Do you still remember the unexpected kindness? How do you want to be remembered?

Studies have shown that when we do kind things it makes us happier and increases our self-love and respect. Doing some act of kindness daily can put you in a better mood more often. Go ahead and do some random small act of kindness today!

What to Do Next

“It is not enough to be compassionate. You must act.”  - Dalai Lama

We’ve discovered why kindness has a powerful impact on our own lives and the lives of others in the world. The benefits of kindness far outweigh the small actions it takes to do a kindness for someone. 

Kindness helps you stay healthy, happy and feel good about yourself. By doing for others without expectations you are spreading joy that can change a life or at least someone’s day. 

Kindness is necessary when you’re stressed or facing negative emotions. Instead of quickly reacting, take the time (patience) first to clear your thoughts and assess your feelings. Then react in kindness.