18 July 2023

How many times have you heard the saying: You are prefect just the way you are, or that you are special, or they cannot live without you?

These are very comforting things to hear. After all, if you are frustrated or have met with defeat recently, wouldn’t it be great to hear that you are perfect? It certainly is soothing to hear because the sting of defeat burns at the soul. It hurts to be told you’re wrong. This is taken by some as “there’s something wrong with you” quite literally. There’s something you haven’t become efficient at yet when you meet defeat face on. Being told that “you’re perfect” is the absolute best tonic to the harsh burn of reality and defeat. These words are so sweet. However, these words are unfortunately lies.

The World Does Not Owe You Anything

A lie, regardless of how many times it is repeated and no matter how many people repeat and believe it, will always remain a lie.

Even worse, the more we feel that we are ‘special’ in some way compared to others, the more we fall into the trap of thinking that somehow, someway the world owes us something.

I’ve got some bad news for you. The world does not owe you anything and couldn’t care less. A lot of people who think that they’re so ‘special’ expect the world to reward their feelings. The world doesn’t care about your feelings let alone reward you for feeling that way if you do so.

You know what the world cares about? Results. Can you do the job or not? Can you do it fast enough and efficiently or not? Can you do the job that meets a very high standard of expectation or not?

This is how the world operates. It is unfortunately bipolar— black or white. Feelings have no place in this calculus. Unfortunately, the more you think that you’re ‘special’, the more you think that you’re entitled, the bigger the fall is when you realise where you really stand. You’re not the centre of the world. In fact, you were never perfect. It’s not even worth trying to pursue perfection because perfection does not exist. Mother Nature proves this – just look at a leaf. Is it perfect in shape, size or colour? No, it is not.

What Makes You Special?

You know what makes you special? Your limitations. Focus on those. Your limitations are really opportunities in disguise. When you look at your limitations as invitations for self-mastery, you start achieving things. You start going places.

However, if you look at your limitations as sources of embarrassment, humiliation, degradation, abuse, you’re going to make up all sorts of excuses and go through many hoops just to avoid facing them head on.

Accept your limitations. Use them as opportunities for self-mastery because when you do that, you become competent. Self-confidence comes from self-esteem. Choose to be good at something first. Choose to be competent first. Then choose to work even more and then you become great at what you do. Base your life on the solid foundation of truth. And there’s nothing more truthful than competence.

The Acceptance of Your Limitations Leads to Greater Possibilities

Perfection is an illusion, and I believe that there are always things outside of our control. What we must do is accept our limits, know what we can change, and let go of everything else. To help you achieve this, try using these following mantras by repeating them to yourself either quietly or aloud, followed by asking yourself a series of questions each day as follows:

• I am free to focus on what I can control, learn from each new person and experience and become wiser each day. 

• I let go of unrealistic expectations, and I let go of controlling the final result, and instead, I love myself enough to know that I am good enough. Limitations help me grow because I learn how to accept, solve problems, and adapt.

• When I struggle with an issue or circumstance, I practice observing my feelings and the situation at hand. I go within to understand why I am struggling. Then I can find new insight and either solve the issue or make changes in my life.

• I view problems as opportunities to improve myself, gain new knowledge, or ask for help and learn new wisdom.

• I practice acceptance, expand my horizons, and grow.

• I release myself from beliefs and habits that limit my growth and replace them with the practices that improve my life and move me closer to my goals and dreams. 

• My inner child is healing and learning every day. My adult self keeps pace, supporting my growth. 

• Today, my inner child is capable of anything. I accept the limitations holding me back and release them, and I open myself up to infinite possibilities.

Self-Reflection Questions:

1. Am I accepting of my limitations?

2. Is there something I want to try but fear I might fail?

3. How does accepting a limitation lead to greater possibilities?

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