31 May 2022

Seeing your children leaving home to pursue their dreams and branch out into the world on their own is undoubtedly a bittersweet moment. You're proud that your children are on their way to adulthood and are taking the big step towards independence. Nevertheless, you're saddened by the fact that they'll soon be off into the big wide world rather than still home under one roof as a family. 

Even though the moment isn't here yet and you're trying to soak up every second available with your children, it's important to plan for what is to come rather than simply ignoring it. Your kids will be in deciding what they do with their adult life soon. Therefore, now is the time to develop a plan to help you cope with the sadness of the separation. Having ‘Empty Nest Syndrome’ in one’s life after having had children leave home is more real than people know. 

Techniques to Combat Empty Nest Syndrome 

To help you prepare for this moment in your life if you are a parent or a caregiver of a young person, here are some techniques to try out as you get closer to that moment in life where the nest is empty, leaving you (and your partner if you have one) in a state of feeling helpless without any direction. 

1.    Look forward to enjoying your newfound freedom.

While your kids are enjoying their freedom away from what was home, you too can rejoice in your newfound freedom away from the kids and their limiting schedules. 

• You'll be able to host dinner parties on weeknights, lounge around with your spouse without sharing the TV, take vacations during the school year, join clubs, or become more active in your church community. 

• This is the time to rediscover your interests. For so long, you've put your wants on the backburner. But now, you can fully explore your interests and find a hobby that helps you feel needed, appreciated, and offers gratification. This also opens new doors to new friends as well. 

2.    Reconnect with your spouse. 

After raising the children for so many years, living alone with your spouse is something that may feel new to you again. Now is the moment to feel like newlyweds! Reconnect with one another on a deeper level than you have in the last twenty years or so. 

• Every night is date night! Make something special for dinner a few times each week and then go out on the town on the weekends. 

• Take the time to enjoy this milestone in your relationship. You've raised wonderful children together; you've succeeded as parents and have held a successful marriage. Make a toast to your success! 

• For those of you who were solo parents, here is also an opportunity to connect with someone new in your life.  If this has not happened for you in a long time, then take a moment to see where your interests lie and join a club or group where you share a common interest. This can bring on new friendships and personal connections for you.

3.    Plan a home improvement project. 

Properly planning a home improvement project takes time. Therefore, use the few months ahead while the kids are still at home to redo their bedroom once they have left home to pursue their interests or career. 

• Turning their bedroom into a gym may be too much of a change. So, take baby steps. Turn their bedroom into a guest bedroom. By doing so, you can comfortably accommodate both your adult children and guests.

• Add a home office area to the bedroom so your kids can have a place to study if they do go to college and come home on breaks. In addition, a simple armchair for reading, fresh paint, new linens, and accessories will make for a hotel-like retreat for any guests to appreciate when they visit. 

• Generally, most teens won't feel as if they're being slighted when their childhood bedroom is given a makeover. If anything, they'll feel better knowing that their parents are just as excited about the change. 

In addition to these tips outlined above, plan ways to connect with your children when they do leave home to pursue their new life or do go to college. Plan to send care packages, have weekly video chats, monthly visits, and holidays together. However, refrain from saying: "Call us every night" as this will likely cause your child to feel guilty when unable to call. Also, doing this to a teen can make them feel like they are being babied by their parents. After all, leaving home is all about independence and seeking a fresh life as a teenager. 

It's vital to remember that this is uncharted territory for everyone involved; it's certainly a mixed bag of emotions. All you can do is to try your best to look at the bright side and all the benefits involved for your youngster when they leave home. You aren't losing a child; you're gaining a young developing adult who is pursuing a life they desire!